When you are committed to a relationship or a marriage, there will be a lot of great moments when you are laughing, cutting up with one another and just enjoying each other’s company. But there are also those times when he or she just might say something that rubs you the wrong way and the conversation can take a drastic turn for the worse. I stated in my one of my previous blogs that we have to play fair, and we should always do that, but today I want to discuss counterattacking.
Now, I have been very guilty of counterattacking in my relationships and it never ends well, because when you counterattack that means you have made your spouse your opponent or enemy and they are not the enemy.
I’m not going sit here and lie to ya’ll, when I had disagreements with my significant other, she was the devil and my goal at that point and time is to chew her up and spit her out with my words.
It’s funny that when you are single you start to take inventory of yourself and you’re able to break down your faults. The one thing that I’m now learning about myself is, I used to always listen to respond, instead of listening to resolve. I’m pretty sure a lot of my disagreements would have ended amicably if me and my partner would have had this type of approach.
Listen we are all human and that means we are not perfect at all, but we should strive for perfection on a daily basis, especially when it comes down to how we treat the love of our lives.
The fact of the matter is, GOD IS LOVE and we are not showing God’s love by waiting to attack our spouse with our words just because they might have said something that you necessarily don’t like.
If one of you can take the latter, it can change the whole dynamic of the conversation. I am still trying to learn this and it’s tough but I don’t wish to tare down what God has blessed me with, because that is not LOVE.
The fact of the matter is, you and your spouse will have disagreements until the end of your life, but we all have some growing to do in that area. There is nothing wrong with counterattacking the right way. Instead of counterattacking to gain the edge of the argument, how about you just listen to what they have to say and respond in LOVE instead of anger. I promise you, if we continue to try to perfect this practice we will all see tremendous growth not only in our relationships but in ourselves.
Make sure you check out my book, It Happened, It Hurt, Now What? which comes out on October 27th.
If you are in the Elizabeth City area, make sure you stop by for my book launch on October 27th at Skies Art Lounge.