During the past two years, I have experienced a tremendous amount of growth in almost every area of my life. Growing is a beautiful thing and should be celebrated. First, people should know, growth is a process. Often times, during a process, different things happen that begin to reshape and push you to another level.
One of the things that usually happens during this process is that the people around you begin to shift. This isn’t always your fault. Naturally, when you start being intentional about change and allowing your mind to expand, those people can’t take it.
The circle you keep around you will either, benefit you or limit you. There is a saying that has been used which celebrates being, “like-minded”. I would like to challenge that theory. Believe it or not, it is very possible to be too “like-minded”. The reality of this is that you can be so “like-minded,” that you are blinded to the fact, you are stagnant.
Bishop T.D Jakes, megachurch pastor of The Potters House, said something very similar to my thought. Jakes said, “If you’re the smartest person in your circle, you’re in the wrong circle”.
This inspired me to begin thinking about some foundational about friendship. Here are some important things to remember about friendship.
Your Circle Defines You
There a few ways to tell where a person will be in 10 years. One is by the way that they speak. Another is by looking at who they hang around. Who do you take counsel from? Addicts are more likely to find success in a rehabilitation center, not just because they are away from the drugs, but they are away from influences.
If I wanted to be a millionaire, I would have to get around people who were not only creative in the way they know how to come up with a million dollar idea, but people who know the importance of giving and integrity, meaning, they pay their bills on time and they pay people what they owe them. People that tend to be shady towards people they owe things to, don’t end up succeeding in the end.
Somethings only last for a season. My first few years in college, I had a lot of friends who were going through similar situations. You could really boil down what defined our group to three things: we sucked at relationships, we all thought we better than what we really were, and we came to college, ready to cut loose from our parents. To sum this up, we all valued the same things.
Eventually, we all grew apart. Some of us were ready to grow up and unfortunately, the rest were not. As I started to grow spiritually, it really began to effect what was happening in the natural. I didn’t care for partying, smoking, and sex. My value system changed. Ultimately, remember that it is very much okay to grow apart.
Do not think you can’t enjoy life and time with people. In all things, use wisdom and know when it’s time to move on. Do not be one of those individuals who waste so much time, then look around and remember, you had responsibilities.