The Recap

I don’t know where to start when it comes down to recapping this weekends book launch. There were so many great moments and I couldn’t be more proud of everyone that made the book launch a success. I was very nervous, because I didn’t know how the evening would turn out, and there were a lot of unexpected moments that happened.

The excitement began to set in as the team started to set the tables up, and the books were being staged to be sold. When people started to come through the door, I said quietly to myself, “Wow this is really happening”. We all started to pile into the sanctuary, and it was time for the program to start and the MC for the night was as good as they come.

I don’t think anyone was prepared when it came time for me to be introduced. It was a very special moment when my mentor started to talk about our relationship. Mr. James talked about how I overcame the obstacles that I faced, and how he was able to provide me with the help I needed to survive. But the irony in all of this was when Mr. James said that my book was giving him the same hope that he had given me. I couldn’t have been more happy in that moment. This is only the beginning not just for me, but for everyone that made this evening a success, we are destined for great things as long as we continue to put in the work.

 

Advertisements

Special Delivery 

We are all our own person, so that means we all have an opinion that we are able to voice, but the question is, how do you deliver your opinions on something that may be bothering you. I have had my own hang ups with my delivery and many of my issues may come up when I’m engaging with my significant other. I’ll keep it 100 with you guys, I really hate communicating about issues and I usually will shut down, or go off the handle if the conversation takes a turn for the worse.

Now, I know my way of handling  hard conversations may not be the healthiest, and I know I need some work in that area. But I know I’m not the only one who could work on his communication, delivery, or being understanding when I may not like what is being said to me at the time. You see, there may be some cases when the delivery can be perfect, and you will still may get offended. You can be offended because you just don’t feel like hearing what they have to say, and that is not cool at all. We should always be respectful to one another and give the courtesy to the other person because we will want the same thing in return when our turn comes around for us to express ourselves. Especially in regards to our significant others.

For every action, there is a reaction and it’s up to you to respond in LOVE and not allow your emotions to ruin the dialogue between you and the other person. We can use this tool not just in our personal relationships, also in the working environment, or with just dealing with different personalities in our day to day lives. We all should be able to express ourselves and get our point across without being rude. We all should also be mature enough to hear the person out. So lets be mindful on how we handle one another, because the message may not always be delivered in the way that you may think it should, but you can make the delivery special in the way that you respond.

 

Stay Consistent

Whatever you choose to put your mind to, you can surely accomplish. I believe the correct word to use is Consistency, now there are things that we should do and there are things that we most definitely shouldn’t, but sometimes our focus may be on the wrong things. For instance, I was really consistent with not following my purpose and totally ignoring what God clearly had for me to do and I Consistently told him to kick rocks, and I focused on the things that I wanted to do, and that’s what I chose to sow into, and what I received back was a lot of wasted time and hard lessons.

We can talk until we are blue in the face about our life goals that we want to accomplish but it doesn’t get done without effort and consistency. Will it be easy? No. It’s not going to be easy, that’s why we call them Goals, you are suppose to shed some tears while you are still crawling and scratching towards your God Given Purpose. Listen, I’ve learned so much on my own journey about achieving and going after my purpose, there have been so many roadblocks ahead of me this current year, but instead of stopping I climbed over them and moved past whatever tried to block my progress.

Let’s just keep it 💯, road blocks and obstacles are meant to throw off  your focus, and you have to willfully ignore the distractions and press through towards your destiny. Consistency is key when achieving something great, and if it’s worth it to you, then you will not mind putting in the work. Remember, you don’t get to reach your goals with a stop and go process. Stay Consistent

COUNTERATTACKING

When you are committed to a relationship or a marriage, there will be a lot of great moments when you are laughing, cutting up with one another and just enjoying each other’s company. But there are also those times when he or she just might say something that rubs you the wrong way and the conversation can take a drastic turn for the worse. I stated in my one of my previous blogs that we have to play fair, and we should always do that, but today I want to discuss counterattacking.

Now, I have been very guilty of counterattacking in my relationships and it never ends well, because when you counterattack that means you have made your spouse your opponent or enemy and they are not the enemy. 

I’m not going sit here and lie to ya’ll, when I had disagreements with my significant other, she was the devil and my goal at that point and time is to chew her up and spit her out with my words.

It’s funny that when you are single you start to take inventory of yourself and you’re able to break down your faults. The one thing that I’m now learning about myself is, I used to always listen to respond, instead of listening to resolve. I’m pretty sure a lot of my disagreements would have ended amicably if me and my partner would have had this type of approach.

Listen we are all human and that means we are not perfect at all, but we should strive for perfection on a daily basis, especially when it comes down to how we treat the love of our lives.

The fact of the matter is, GOD IS LOVE and we are not showing God’s love by waiting to attack our spouse with our words just because they might have said something that you necessarily don’t like.

If one of you can take the latter, it can change the whole dynamic of the conversation. I am still trying to learn this and it’s tough but I don’t wish to tare down what God has blessed me with, because that is not LOVE.

The fact of the matter is, you and your spouse will have disagreements until the end of your life, but we all have some growing to do in that area. There is nothing wrong with counterattacking the right way. Instead of counterattacking to gain the edge of the argument, how about you just listen to what they have to say and respond in LOVE instead of anger. I promise you, if we continue to try to perfect this practice we will all see tremendous growth not only in our relationships but in ourselves.

13892338_1026239497493456_6735195708323055909_n.png

Make sure you check out my book, It Happened, It Hurt, Now What? which comes out on October 27th.

If you are in the Elizabeth City area, make sure you stop by for my book launch on October 27th at Skies Art Lounge.

 

 

 

A Cheater’s Turn

I’m not going to lie and tell you that cheating with other women wasn’t fun or enjoyable. I had a great time doing what I did, even though I was dead wrong.

To be honest, I never saw myself getting caught or making a change in my lifestyle. I would wake up and tell myself, “Wes, you are going to be good today, you will honor your wife and your marriage”

Well of course the temptation would show itself strong and I would fail miserably, whether it was physical or just saying something very inappropriate to the opposite sex.

On a constant basis I would see the hurt and anguish just eating through the heart of my ex-wife, and it’s a shame that even her tears and pleading with me just to treat her right couldn’t get me to see that my ways were totally wrong.

Now the type of Karma that was waiting on me I don’t wish on anybody, but the crazy thing was, I never really thought about the repercussions of my actions until it became my turn to cry.

The saying “cheaters never prosper” is definitely a true statement that I had to learn the hard way, and it was a hard pill to swallow. It’s funny that you never really think about what you have done to others until it’s done to you 100 times worse.

When everything was said and done with me and my ex-wife, and we actually forgave one another for the things that had transpired between us, she began to share some of the tough times that she suffered through when I left. All of the stories that she shared with me started to run through my mind as my karma knocked on the door.

I’ve never cried so much in my life when everything was done with my prior relationship, and I deserved to shed every last tear that fell down my face because I really thought that I was invincible and nothing would ever come back on me.  I was delusional for believing that. I understand that we all have different desires, but we have to be mature and accountable for our decisions at some point in time in your life.

As I said before, I thought I was Superman when I was out there doing my dirt, but everyone has their own kryptonite out there, and you if you choose to continue to decide to be reckless with your actions, remember that Every Cheater Has It’s Turn.

You can read more in my new book, It Happened, It Hurt, Now What? set to release on October 27th!

13892338_1026239497493456_6735195708323055909_n.png